The Adventures of Billy Carlson, Part 1.

And there he was, against all odds. Against all evens. Against all real numbers. A real hellish place to be. The numbers four and seven had never looked so sharp; a real potential to do harm. They approached him slowly, brandishing addition and multiplication symbols as they were swords and guns. Backed into a corner, little Billy Carlton knew what he had to do, “it's time to do some math!”

He singled off the twos and threes, those were the easiest due to their round shape and they were the quantities that Billy knew best. “Two times three is six,” Billy yelled as he tackled the twos and threes into a group of sixes. Then came the ones, these ones were serif. Their little hooks at the top were like scythes. They ambushed Billy. He was cut and started to bleed.

The sight of his own blood scared and infuriated Billy Carlton. He closed his eyes and flailed wildly taking the number ones out. A real fury of hands and feet. Next go the fives and then the eights. All that were left were the four, sevens and nines and the nines were packing heat. “Oh no,” Billy thought, “long division.”