It's been raining so hard recently that the cul-de-sac I live on has become flooded with at least 2 feet of water.
Everyone should come hangout at my new lake house.
I wish I had something else funny to say about this but I can't even leave my house so I'm upset.
Other pictures:
That's right, the water goes all the way down the street.
“No! The math test,” Billy shockingly blurted out to the classroom who had been focused on their times tables and white pieces of copy paper.
“Nice of you to join us,” Ms. Swell, Billy's fifth grade teacher, greeted.
Ms. Swell was young and relatively inexperienced as a fifth grade teacher. She was a recent college graduate and this was her first year of teaching. Like most first year teachers, she was bright and lenient in hopes of making a real difference and not being one of the old crotchety teachers she remembered from her youth. Also like most first year teachers, she was fuel for budding pubescent boys and their their misinformed sex dreams. Many of the girls in the class considered her fashionable and admired her as a female figure that wasn't their mothers or Hillary Duff. Billy for the most part, though, didn't seem to really notice her except for the bug-eyed sunglasses she kept perched atop her head which he considered to be protective eye wear and believed that she might be a secret scientist.
Billy Carlton liked to sleep in class. He'd sleep through reading, he'd sleep through history, and obviously, he'd sleep through math but the one subject he wouldn't sleep through was science. Billy considered himself to be a bit of a boy genius when it came to science. His ego began when he won the 25th district Science Fair with a vinegar and baking soda volcano two years ago. Then again, last year, with a mouse maze designed shaped like the head of Nikola Tesla. On this year, Billy, at the age of ten, had set his sights high.
Billy admired Nikola Tesla since the age of 4. His bizarre fantasies about being the cryopreserved lost child of Telsa worried his parents. They took Billy to a varying degree of psychiatrists and not one found anything wrong with him; other than an active imagination of course. His parents stripped his room of the books and posters they had bought him over the years. You have to understand that when Billy first showed an interest in Tesla his parents thought it was “cute” and they attributed it to the fact that his father also had a moustache but as Billy grew older and he learned words like “cryopreserved” his charming admiration turned into the bizarre obsession that had worried his parents.
“I wish he would have admired Tom Selleck instead,” his mother was once over heard saying.
Billy's father added, “well... at least it's not Salvidor Dali.”
Billy's entry to the 25th district Science Fair on this year was titled Resurrection and at age ten, Billy Carlton dared to play God.
And there he was, against all odds. Against all evens. Against all real numbers. A real hellish place to be. The numbers four and seven had never looked so sharp; a real potential to do harm. They approached him slowly, brandishing addition and multiplication symbols as they were swords and guns. Backed into a corner, little Billy Carlton knew what he had to do, “it's time to do some math!”
He singled off the twos and threes, those were the easiest due to their round shape and they were the quantities that Billy knew best. “Two times three is six,” Billy yelled as he tackled the twos and threes into a group of sixes. Then came the ones, these ones were serif. Their little hooks at the top were like scythes. They ambushed Billy. He was cut and started to bleed.
The sight of his own blood scared and infuriated Billy Carlton. He closed his eyes and flailed wildly taking the number ones out. A real fury of hands and feet. Next go the fives and then the eights. All that were left were the four, sevens and nines and the nines were packing heat. “Oh no,” Billy thought, “long division.”
First of all, get a large pot of water boiling on the stove. Make sure that you have one quart size freezer zip-lock bag for each person. Don’t use the thin kind, make sure you use the thicker freezer variety.
Start with a couple of eggs for each person. Crack the eggs into the zip lock bag. Seal it (squeezing out the air), and then squish the bag and squeeze it and shake it to get the egg mixed up. Then add whatever other omelet ingredients you like:
- green onions
- onions
- ham
- green peppers
- cheese
- red peppers
- mushrooms
- bean sprouts
- salt and pepper
- whatever else you might like
Now get the air out, zip the bag shut tight and shake and squeeze the mixture again.
Place the zip-lock omelet bag in the pot boiling water and boil for about 12-14 minutes. When done, remove from the water, open the bag and the omelet will roll right out onto your plate.
| Time: | 8:00pm - 10:00pm |
| Location: | The Cornservatory |
| Street: | 4210 N. Lincoln Ave |
| City: | Chicago, IL |
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